I love people.

I truly want to fulfill everyone’s life with happiness. That is why I chose this topic to write my first post in a new year.

I want to give you an open challenge.

Completely read, understand and implement the things in this post, and you will find REAL HAPPINESS.

I am not talking about some theoretical thing. It is not a copy paste material.

I have personally experienced this. This is the most valuable thing I learned during my lifetime.

Yet, 90% of people are going to bounce back considering it impractical.

It is not impractical. However, It is very difficult and only 1% percent of the remaining 10% are going to implement it.

I know all this because I have gone through this.

I came across stress and anxiety in life. I experienced religion and spirituality. I know compassion, pain, anger, resentment, self-pity, guilt, frustration and revenge. I also know about seven deadly sins. I spent a whole life being bullied, depressed and anxious. Then, I had days of self-discovery, personal development, courage,  freedom, joy, love, and happiness.

Read these productivity hacks for improved job performance.

What are the secrets of happiness?

Love and Forgiveness.

These are the two biggest secrets for the ultimate goal of human life i.e. happiness.

You may think differently that success or money is most important. We may argue about that but believe me, all we do is just for happiness.

We may define it differently in terms of success, money, power or comfort. But in the end, we just want happiness. We eat the best food and feel happy. We feel excited about new clothes and luxuries. All these things give us happiness.

But, why it comes and goes?

Happiness coming from these things and activities doesn’t last.

It suddenly vanishes.

It does not fulfill us.

It feels like it was never there.

It clearly means that happiness is not the name of money, comfort, luxury life, partying or any other external activities. It is a state of mind. It comes from inside.

I am not going to ask you to do some yoga practices for x number of days. We are lazy souls so my solution is very simple.

Don’t do much. Give me only three days of your valuable life.

I want you to accept this challenge just for THREE days.

Before continuing, remember one thing.

Happiness and Sadness are like twin sisters. They go hand to hand. No one alone cannot stand long.

Let’s take a look at our challenge

Three days for Unconditional forgiveness and love

Here the more focused word is not love or forgiveness. It is UNCONDITIONAL.

So, first, we talk about unconditional. There are these three conditions

  1. Unconditional means, you are not going to expect anything in return. It also includes the expectation that other person will also love or forgive you.
  2. If he doesn’t, you will not say any bad about him, not even in your heart and mind.
  3. You will not forgive or ask forgiveness because the other person is worthy for you and you may need him anytime in the future.

Forgive people and ask forgiveness

So, for the next three days, you have to unconditionally forgive people and ask for forgiveness. Follow these steps

  1. List people with whom you are angry or the otherwise.
  2. Don’t filter out any entry. I recommend starting with the person you are most angered and upset at.
  3. Make a phone call. Better set a meeting.
  4. Confidently say these word “Whatever happened is past. I just want to apologize. Forgive me. Hope, you will also forgive me”. If it is you who were angry, forgive him in the same way. Of course, you can twist these words according to your relation but apology and forgiveness should be confident, loud and clear.
  5. Do this with all listed people. Here I know you are again in doubt if you need to read further of close this page. I told you earlier this is going to happen.

Unconditional Love Is “Accepting People As They Are”

  1. There are people around you that you never cared. These may be family, friends, colleagues or other people around who you always took granted. Collaborate with them. If those are family and friends, spend good time with them. If they are colleagues, say them a confident thank you at face. If they are people living in the neighborhood, meet them up just to say a good hello.
  2. If there is some needy, financially help him.
  3. The most important one is to accept people with all their positives and flaws. Every person is different and everyone is wonderful in his own way. Humans are humans. They make mistakes. Everyone do many wrongs in life. Accept them while giving them a margin of being human.

Keep in mind, it should all be pure. Be true with yourself. Do not fake it just to prove something. Do it to relieve you from your past.

Why it is so Difficult

It is easy to say but forgiveness is the most difficult thing to do in the world. Revenge and violence is basic human nature like lust and sex. We feel comfort and relaxation with revenge. We are filled with anger and hate.

These are all negativities inside you. You need to push them out. Once you did it, you are a free man. Your soul will be filled with such happiness that you never imagined before. Research shows that revenge makes people hostile, stressed, anxious, hateful and depressed.

Humans live with the height of pride and self-esteem. Once their ego is hurt, they are forced to retaliate. Revenge temporarily feels comforting. It satisfies our ego. But, it becomes part of our subconscious and silently hurts our internal happiness. Resentment is a prison of the mind. Until we let it go, we are the prisoner. We can only relieve ourselves through forgiving.

Similarly, When you understand that relationship does not mean perfection but to manage people’s weaknesses, your life becomes easy. There are two ways to run relationships, praise people for their positives or curse them for their weaknesses.

It is up to you what you choose. One way will lead you towards calmness and mental relaxation. The other will tease you at every moment of your interaction with people. But natural human relationship always works this way. Initially, we are attracted by positive. As we go with the relationship, we start to feel uncomfortable and find negatives.

Some hurdles in forgiving

Forgiving is not a weakness. It involves controlling your ego. It is a most powerful thing to do and a weak person cannot do this.

They don’t deserve forgiveness. But you deserve a happy life. Your mind wires with other person’s thought that always give you a bad feeling. There is no way to get rid of these thoughts except forgiveness.

Forgiveness justifies other’s mistakes. In most cases, Yes. But, you know the reality. You are doing this not for anyone else but yourself. You will feel esteemed even when you were rightful in taking revenge. Moreover, forgiveness does not mean forgetting. If the other person has basic manners, he will respect your graceful decision. In the other case, you need to be careful of such a person.

Famous Quotes on forgiving

Below are my favorite quotes about forgiveness. Hope you will also love these

  • “Dumbledore says people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right.”
  • “People really need help but may attack you If you do help them. Help them anyway.”
  • “Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”
  • “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
  • “Forgiveness means it finally becomes unimportant that you hit back.”
  • “Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive.”

Final Words

The pure purpose of this article is to introduce you with a never-ending journey called “self-awareness” or “self-discovery”. It is a skill that takes a lifetime to learn but it is really worth it. You will reach a level of self-control and enlightenment.

These three days will give you a taste of ultimate happiness. This may have accomplished many challenges in life. But this is going to be the most amazing yet difficult challenge of your life. The results will be beyond your imagination. I wish you to have a life changing experience after this read.

I am eager to know about your experience. Let me know

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